The argument proceeding from clownfish.
The argument proceeding from strawberries.
The argument proceeding from seahorses.
“Intersex people are as common as redheads, so sex does not exist.”
“Sex is a spectrum, so males are female.”
“Bio-essentialism!” (Is that like thinking horses and carrots exist?)
“It’s SO COMPLICATED.”
“Thinking women exist is like thinking women are livestock,” aka “Stop reducing women to their genitals!”
“Everything is a social construct.”
“Because women are Black, disabled, poor, gay, etc,. women do not exist.”
“Everyone who says they are trans is trans. Except destransitioners. And evil witches. (Ask Owen Jones. He decides. With his sorting hat.).”
“Men would never bother identifying as woman to abuse women and children.”
“Sex is assigned at birth based on arbitrary genital configurations.”
“Women can’t beat men at sports because they just aren’t trying hard enough.”
“Michael Phelps has got big feet so sport is never fair.”
“Cis women are not oppressed as such.”
‘Cis womanhood is threatened by trans women.”
“I earned my womanhood. So I’m more of a woman than you.”
“I feel like a woman and I have biology therefore I have female biology.”
“Some women don’t have uteruses, so males can be women.”
“Mythical biological females.”
“But my gold lame pocketbook!”
“Sometimes a male brain grows a woman’s body by mistake.”
“Women are not oppressed on the basis of their sex. They’re oppressed because they wear lipstick.”
“Sex is an outdated concept.”
“Woman is a palimpsest.”
“Woman is Frankenstein’s Monster.”
“Woman is a loose shifting constellation of biological, political and cultural phenomena that varies according to context, time and space.”
“Woman is a void to be filled by other people’s desire.”
“One is not born, but rather becomes a woman.”
“It’s like gay rights.”
“Women excluding males is the same as white people excluding Black people.”
“Women excluding males is like us excluding immigrants.”
“Women excluding males is like Nazis persecuting Jews.”
“Rad fem ideas about gender are the same as right-wing Christian ideas.”
“If Black women are women then trans women are women.”
“Trans women are to natal women as adoptive parents are to biological parents.”
“But you might be assaulted by a lesbian.”
“But they do it in Iran which is like, really progressive.”
“Colonialism invented the gender binary.”
“The Stonewall riot was started by trans women.”
“Here is a skeleton of an Anglo-Saxon trans warrior.”
“However, women had no skeleton pre-Enlightenment.”
“Historical cross dressers were appropriating trans identity.”
“Every gender non-conforming person in history was trans. (Yeah, I know we said it’s based on self ID but whatever).”
“Trans women have been using women’s loos for ages so it doesn’t matter if we totally change the legal and social criteria for being trans so big dudes with beards are women.”
“Kaitlyn Jenner was a woman when she won men’s Olympic gold.”
“Trans women are women.”
“Trans men are men.”
“Non-binary is valid.”
“Trans rights are human rights.”
“Sex work is work.”
“Sisters not cis-ters.”
“No debate!”
“It’s descriptive.”
“It’s inclusive.”
“It’s LATIN.”
“It just means ‘the opposite of.”
“Folx”
“Womxn.”
“Bleeders.”
“Menstruators.”
“Cervix/Uterus/Vagina-Havers.”
“Language evolves. *Shrug*”
“Animals eat humans. Gerbils are an animal. Therefore, gerbils eat humans.”
“Tut. And Move Away.”
“But you have gender neutral toilets in your home, don’t you?
“Rights are not a pie.”
“They’re gonna rape you anyway.”
“Women are violent too.”
“How you gonna tell without looking in their pants?”
“Your biology is so high school.”
“It’s SCIENCE!”
“You’re just a vagina fetishist!”
“Why are you so obsessed with genitals?”
“What if a woman lost her vagina in an accident?”
“But you can’t see your chromosomes, can you?”
“If I removed your brain and put it in a man’s body you’d still be a woman tho, wouldn’t you?”
“You are denying my right to exist.”
‘You are debating my right to exist.”
“If you say that you’ll make us unsafe.”
“If you say that we’ll kill ourselves.”
“If you say that it will make men kill trans women.”
“If you don’t give us what we want we’ll be murdered.”
“If you don’t affirm a child, they’ll commit suicide.”
“Genital preferences are transphobic.”
“Dog-whistle!”
“Gatekeeping Womanhood!”
“Misgendering!”
“Literal Violence!”
“Transphobia!”
“BIGOT!”
“Do better!”
“Educate Yourself!”
“Listen and learn!”
“Wrong Side of History.” (My arse)
“Fuck you TERF!”
“Why can’t you just be nice YOU NASTY SWARM OF WITCHES???”
Jane Clare Jones 
This is brilliant, as is all your writing on the subject, Dr Jones. Brava.
I have a similar draft list I’ve been compiling over time. But since your version is much better than mine, I’m offering my title to you in case it could be of use:
Transmissionary Positions: Taking Down Trans Ideology – A Belief System in which Males Always Come Out on Top Even When They Like to Bottom
BTW, the term “transmissionary” was inspired by footage from earlier this year of Julia Long asking questions of Manrod Buggerdoth at an event sponsored by a group called “Transmissions.”
I just looked at Transmissions’ website and found a document called “The Tranifesto,” which reads as follows:
“Trans people deserve Respect, Self-Belief and Love.
It is the responsibility of cisgender people to help fight for social change.
We need to stop the mass murder of trans women of colour.
Trans people need better access to health care, housing, education and employment.
We need to make this world a better place for trans children.
Trans people have existed for thousands of years on every inch of the earth, and will continue to do so until the sun dies out.”
I especially love the claim that trans people have somehow managed to exist even in all the parts of the earth that the rest of the human race has found uninhabitable. Apparently, clownfish and seahorses are so clever and adaptable that they not only thrive in the frozen conditions found in both Poles, but they also can survive without water in the earth’s driest, hottest deserts. What’s more, they enjoy such long lifespans that they can survive in these places “for thousands of years”!
This really should be made into a Bingo game…
A few additions off the top of my head:
• “Don’t talk about menstruation; it’s exclusionary to trans women!”
• “Also, trans women can menstruate because estrogen.”
• “There are female lions with manes [and hormonal imbalances lmao], therefore animals can have transgender identities.”
• “That bird with gynandromorphy is a nonbinary icon!”
• “Centering reproductive rights in feminism is bad because they only apply to half the population, whose oppression is based on the other half robbing them of reproductive rights and autonomy. Centering reproductive rights excludes the oppressor half, and therefore is NOT INTERSECTIONAL!”
• more bastardization of “intersectionality” in general
• sciencevet and nature article
• “Where’s your empathy?!”
Reblogged this on aunt polly's rants and commented:
Brilliant
A mandatory list like bullshit bingo to cross off whenever one is mentioned. Three strikes and the conversation is over. Walk away. We should not have to continually explain or justify why safety for women and girls is our number one priority.
Strawberries? Well, that one’s new ta me. Ditto with tha thing about skeletons an’ tha Enlightenment. Would it be intruding fer me ta ask somebody ta explain what that-all’s about so I can know what exactly I’m rollin’ my eyes at?
Thank you for this. I’m torn between laughing in disbelief and screaming in rage.